The Power of the FSM Compels You!

Exchange from the blog "Unreasonable Faith":

Teleprompter: As long as you’ve prayed to the FSM, I’m sure it doesn’t matter what “religion” you are.

D.F.: Are you implying that praying to the FSM is a religion? IT’S NOT!!!! It’s a relationship! It’s communion! We eat his flesh and drink his blood! It has NOTHING to do with religion! It’s spiritual…communion…tasty…worship.

Teleprompter: It is a religion - and you are a HERETIC - you will burn in the sauce forever!

D.F.: Sorry to inform you, Teleprompter, and believe me when I say it breaks my heart, but YOU ARE THE HERETIC.

Obviously, the FSM has not chosen you to be a TrueFollower™. Perhaps you think you are a follower, but let me be clear — you are NOT a follower, and HAVE NEVER been a follower.
You have been deceived by pirates. Unless you repent, then it is YOU who will burn in sauce forever! Ramen!